Old John's 

Xmas Almanac

No 7 ~ 1996

Stll yet one more Cornucopia of 

Aphorisms, Axioms, Saws, Maxims,

Proverbs, Quotations & Adages

for the

Busy OSRAM Manager



Thou didst create clay but I made the cup

Thou didst create the night but I made the lamp

Urdu poet (unknown)


David dropped his trousers in front of Elaine, the retail buyer

SB (clearly there are no lengths to which he won't go for that retail major)


I'll just have to use my figures because yours are incorrect, Richard





You remind me a lot of my father 

TGC to JPR, crushingly














































Joe and I had a wet moment 




















He's the David Bowie of R/3

RS, of who and why nobody knows


We didn't know where to place you Robert,

somewhere between Attila and Genghis Khan



The working of great institutions is mainly the result of a vast mass of routine, petty malice, self interest, 

carelessness and sheer mistake. Only a residual fraction is thought.

George Santayana, American Philosopher and Poet


DJS does the clubs I do the drinkers

LWP, of yet another customer `business' trip


All of your team worship (sic) you David


Dr Bobst said..................and I believe he is absolutely right


Annual income £20.0.0d, annual expenditure £19.19.6d operating result Happiness - 

Annual income £20.0.0d, annual expenditure £20.0.6d operating result Misery

Mr MacCawber in David Copperfield (and others more recently)

ISD wish you and your staff a Happy Christmas and a Peaceful and Successful New Year


It's just like sticking your wedding tackle in lion's mouth and flicking its love spuds with a wet towel

Red Dwarf on BBC2 or discussing dual branding or asking to see the plan or suggesting the AS/400 response times are poor or impugning the car policy

There's no need to be more catholic than the Pope








The Management team at their annual seminar at Wadenhoe discussing a new SOX strategy and how they can convince the shareholders that the UK market is very different 








This year's quotations are a pretty sad bunch. Please help the editor to improve the standard - grass on your friends and colleagues. They just have to be true - well at least almost true