Old John's 

Xmas Almanac

No 9 ~ 1998


A Cornucopia of 

Aphorisms, Axioms, Saws, Maxims,

Proverbs, Quotations & Adages

for the

Busy OSRAM Manager





Secretaries always go to heaven - God is afraid of what the devil could accomplish if he had a good secretary

quoted by the Editor's helper

I only like baking

KL, Log/Euro

You must have led a very sheltered life, Kirsten


The UK is a terrible, terrible market

Dr Bobst

All I want are the correct lamps and the paperwork all in one piece on approximately the right day. Not much is it?

A really difficult customer

I make crazy ideas work!

A TDG IT chap gives us an insight into the world of TDG logistics -quoted in Transport News


Time is an illusion - lunchtime doubly so

Douglas Adams in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

You gotta sweat the assets

CJ, poetically

NAM's Great Balls-up!

Headline in The Sun - to whom did they refer?




ISD wish you and your staff

a Happy Christmas and a

Peaceful and Successful New Year




I don't want yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell the truth even if it costs them their jobs.

Samuel Goldwyn


RC - I already come up to Shaw twice a month, what more do you want me to do?

JF quick as a flash - Come up only once a month



Can you send me a Bprice list?

BB, two days after he left having served 3 months notice 


Gerry, why are all the Graduate Trainees female?

Too many to mention

I can get you her telephone number if you want

RA, of Miss January, smilingly

Girls who don't want to go all the way on a first date shouldn't toy with truffled brie. It is a taste and texture that creeps up behind you in riding boots and undoes your buttons with a violinist's fingers in cream kid gloves, then slides a velvet cushion under your hips.

A A Gill, restaurant critic, in the Sunday Times




The challenging world of  ABC - 1


John who?


The challenging world of  ABC - 2


IMW and NP managing the new, approx 4 million a year,  TDG contract


The challenging world of  ABC - 3










Thomas casts his spell on

a lucky customer